Always Faithful

It seems to always be refreshing when you are able to let go of a situation and trust that God has it in his hands; to let God be God and stop worrying about it. TO RELINQUISH CONTROL AND WATCH GOD WORK!!!! He is always good, always faithful, always loving.

I have experienced this very recently with the accident I was involved in where I struck a bicyclist while I was driving a vehicle. It was a time where all I knew to do was to give the situation to God and watch him work. Living in question for a few weeks while I waited for an answer was nerve wracking. But God is always faithful. The police department finally was able to give me some information and tell me that the officers on scene could not determine who was at fault (me the driver or the other man, the bicyclist).

Like I said, He is always faithful. He worked the situation out for good. No citations. No one to blame.

While I was ecstatic to learn this, my heart still jumped at the thought of a lawsuit happening. I really don't feel like I have to worry though. Whatever happens, I know that God will be faithful and that He will be a part of it.

I have no reason to doubt or worry, because HE is always faithful.

Be Still and Know That I Am God--Psalm 46:10a

Right now I am asking lots of questions about circumstances in my life. A few nights ago (March 12th) I was driving and I ran into a man on a bicycle. So many emotions and thoughts ran through my head as I got out of the vehicle and saw the police officer radioing for help. My life is going to change drastically, I thought, I need Your help right now Lord! as I prayed for the man I had just struck.

So many questions arose. What happened to the guy? Is he okay? Will I be determined to be at fault? Will I get sued? What could I get sued for? Should I go to the hospital to find him? How long will I have to wait to find out all these answers?

Fear of the unknown when you have to wait can be crippling. It can hold you down. But the perfect love of God casts out all fears and frees us, enables us, helps us to live on in the midst of the giants we face. As I was driving today, an often used phrase came over the airwaves of the radio on Air1 as I started to think about the accident. “Be still and know that I am God...” It caught me off guard, but I knew it was for me at that moment.

The truth is, I can’t really do anything to help the situation at this point. I can wonder and worry about it all I want, but it won’t really help. All I can do is pray and give the situation to God, give Him control, and trust in His promise that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. In the midst of this giant that I face, I need to surrender in order to know that God is in control as the Master of the Universe, because I can only do so much. I need to let God be God in this situation.

Lord, I give You control of this situation. Take it all away from me. I trust that You know what You are doing and You are in control. There is nothing more that I can do, except to give this to You and trust in Your love. Amen.

Psalm 46:1-2, 7, 10a, 11 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea... The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress... ‘Be still and know that I am God’... The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”

Work Poem 9/7/10

A little bit of background... I worked on two consecutive days, shifts of 12+ hours each. I wrote this yesterday, the third consecutive day, at the beginning of a 14 hour shift. I was just asking for help because I was tired.


Lord give me strength
To make it through the day,
Lord, I need you by my side
Cuz it's the only way.

Exhausted, tired and weary
I come to the fountain to drink,
Renew me Lord and give me rest
Because I am on the brink.

You are great, mighty and glorious
You're worth more than i could give,
Your grace, your love, your mercy
Is what I need to live.

Give me joy, peace, and patience
A passion, a burning flame,
Change my heart and make me new
So I can spread your name.

A New Paradigm for Boasting

Jeremiah 9:23-24 says, “This is what the LORD says: ‘Let not the wise man boast about his wisdom, Let not the strong man boast about his strength, Let not the rich man boast about his riches. But let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,’ declares the LORD.”

I’ve been thinking about this verse ever since I came across it the other day. It is so confronting at times. In this fast-paced and achievement centered culture that we live in we always boast in ourselves and what we have or what we have done. We care about the things the world cares about. How smart or wise we are, how strong we are, how much money we make, how much education we complete and how many awards we can win. However, God desires us to boast about one thing. The we understand and know Him completely.

To be honest, knowing God is not easy. God is so big. There is so much of God that our amazingly constructed brains cannot even understand. To know and understand God completely would be the biggest achievement anyone in the world could ever make. Right now, I know that God loves me, and He loves you, and He is pursuing us relentlessly, just like He did the Israelites that Jeremiah delivered these words from God to. He is calling us to turn from the ways of this world and to follow Him. To know Him. To understand Him. To love Him. To boast about understanding and knowing Him. To call him LORD. To see his kindness, justice, and righteousness here on earth and to dispense it to the rest of the lost world as His ambassadors.

I could go on and on with this, but all I’m trying to say is, the biggest achievement anyone could ever make in this world is not becoming the MVP of the NBA or getting a Doctorate Degree, but it is to know and understand Him. So why are we wasting our time with all this other stuff?

P.S. I think if we all put our hearts into it, there would be a lot of people that have made the biggest achievement ever. What would the world look like then?

Uh Oh... Oh No!!!!!!

Guys, there's a big problem... I don't know how it came about. I've been noticing it in my life the past few days. It kinda snuck up on me.

I really don't know what to do except get it out in the open.

The water in my toilet is coming out purple when I flush it. Is something wrong? Please help!

Deja Vu Dreams

So I've been thinking a lot lately. I have dreams a lot. In these dreams I see little clips playing of someone saying something to me or doing something. Then, randomly, they will actually happen in real life and sometimes months later. I've wondered a lot what they mean... if God is trying to say something to me... how I should react to them... if I should try and respond exactly the same way they happened in my dreams...

I had talked a bit about these happenings with some people. One friend named Natalie offered the thought, "Maybe Jesus is trying to tell you that He speaks to you." Maybe Jesus is trying to tell me that. I know that He does, and that He loves me. I guess that leading up to graduation and thereafter I questioned whether I should stay in Redding, or if God had something greater for me to do in another place. I almost feel as if God has been leading me through these dreams. Telling me that I'm exactly where I should be, because I question. I've been having these sorts of dreams for the past four years, and they have become more frequent in the past 4 months or so.

A few weeks ago, before I even met my supervisor, I had a dream of him telling me that he would rather tell me strait up what his expectations were instead of beating around the bush and having hidden expectations that I would have to figure out. Last night, it happened exactly as I remember from my dream.

This has been amazing to me. As God leads me in this journey, I hope to remain faithful to the life He has called me to live. It is comforting to know that I am exactly where He wants me to be.

Best Summer in Redding... so far.

You know, I've stayed in Redding for two out of three summers while I was at Simpson University. They were fun and exciting, but neither compares to this summer. Being free from campus, having my own car, community, extravaganzas, close friends, trips to the lake, stars, late-evening strolls, tons of awesome girls to hang out with, a new job, etc. I can't even put words to the rest of the awesomeness that has become this summer.

This has definitely been the best summer in Redding... by far.

While we were at the lake last night, Melissa Hart 2 asked me if I was glad I chose to stay in Redding after graduation. My answer... a big fat "YES!!!" It has been awesome to see God's provision in my life since choosing to stay, confirming in me that this is definitely where God wants me at this moment in my life. He is stirring things up inside me, deepening my relationships with friends, telling me He loves me, and calling things out of me. I'm glad I stayed, because these things might not have happened had I chose to live underneath my parent's roof. Thank You Jesus!

The Impossible

I have always been interested in seeing God heal people because I have heard the stories, but have only seen a few, including one guy with a broken leg be completely healed to the point where he took of his cast and jumped up and down on it for 10 minutes without any pain. Why don’t I see them more often? Should the sight of healing be normal every-day life? When I pray for healing, how come I don’t always see it happen?

Last night, Dan Lance (a pastor from a local church) was speaking about Jesus’ every day life of seeing people healed and commanding demons to come out of people and announcing the coming of the Kingdom of God (Luke 4). This is amazing, because in Luke 9 and 10, Jesus sends out disciples with power and authority to heal the sick, to drive out demons, and to proclaim the Kingdom. This means us. You. Me. We have the power and authority to do these things.

Dan talked about how Jesus is the spokesperson for heaven who is here on earth that is seeing things that do not belong in God’s Kingdom (sickness, pain, suffering, demons, etc.) and rebukes them to leave. God has given us the Holy Spirit and the power and authority to do the same things. Jesus himself said those who have faith in Him would do the same things as He, but also that we would see greater things happen (John 14:12). However, in order to see these greater things, I need to be praying for the sick. Laying my hands on them. Being faithful in small things the Holy Spirit prompts me to do. Stepping out in faith. Walking in power and authority. Then I will see people healed.

It is God’s heart for all people to be healed, restored, regenerated, renewed. This is where the impossible comes in. During the response and worship time, Nate called out those who were desiring the see the impossible happen. Those who wanted to ask God for faith to believe Him for the impossible. That’s me. I am going to be working with kids who have PTSD, ADHD, mental retardation, anger, depression, anxiety, among many other things. I am believing God for the impossible for these kids. These kids are not the only place I want to see the impossible happen. I want to see it happen in myself, my roommates, my family, my friends, my apartment complex, my city, my state, my nation, and this world.

I feel God is giving me a new passion for His Kingdom.

Lord, may Your Kingdom come here upon the earth as in Heaven. May You give me faith to believe You for the impossible. May I be faithful in the small things so that I may be trusted with more. You are so loving and gracious. I can’t believe I get to be a part of this! Amen.

Stand Up

So I had been struggling lately. Most people probably wouldn't know it because I don't seem any different. I have been searching for some sort of joy lately. Something had been missing. I was comparing myself to others who are always so joyful. My mom told me a few months ago, "James, you sure don't smile as much as you used to." Maybe that was because I was ruined by the shame and sin in my life and I hated who I was.

As many people know, I recently got a job with Victor Youth Services as a Residential Counselor in a group home. I had a job-shadow shift last Wednesday and I was sick, tired, and joyless. I couldn't muster much of a smile on my face. I met with the house's supervisor, and I think that through him, God woke me up. Phil, the supervisor, confronted me about how the day went, saying that I needed to look at myself and find some way to improve. He noticed that I couldn't smile, that I was having a hard time. It was tough to sit through, and it intimidated me. I now realize that God was speaking to me through him. Begging me to run to Him for help.

Over and over lately, I've been hearing this message that God loves me. His Love is here. His Love is now. It took me till yesterday to press into God about this situation and how ruined I had felt for a while. I had been trying to be faithful in my relationship with God, but I wasn't listening to what God wanted for me. So yesterday, as I was sitting there in fear of my next job-shadow later that day at the same house, I was crying out to God. I was asking him for help. Asking Him to release joy on my life. His perfect love casts out all fears. I ended up laying down, my face buried in the carpet of my apartment living room, with my palms upwards as if to receive something. My heart was positioned toward Him. "Stand Up!" I questioned this word in my heart, and then did just that as I realized God was telling me to stand up. As I stood up, I waited for God to tell me something else. But that was all I needed to hear apparently as I stood there awkwardly in the middle of the room silent. God loves me. As I was laying there in desperation, embarrassed and ashamed, God took pride in his child and told me to stand up. He gave me dignity and showed me He was listening with those simple words.

A few minutes later, as I was thinking about the word Joy, God directed me to John 15. His Word is alive and new each day. Jesus loves me as much as the Father loves Him. He loves me. He told me this so that His JOY would be in me, and so that it would be COMPLETE! Suddenly, the realization was now more focused on God's love for me. Boy does he love me. That brings joy to my heart. Fear is gone. My face lit up. I know this isn't going to be a short process, but God loves me and is continually shaping me into the man I am to be. He is calling me to stand up and accept His love and joy. His joy is my strength. He is my light. I am standing up as His Child, as His son, as His beloved. His joy is in me, and is being made complete.

The Graduated Life... One of Many to Come.

It has been so encouraging and reassuring to see God’s provision for myself and my roommates so far. We have been living on our own, after graduating college for nearly 3 weeks now, and I have seen God providing for us almost daily. Matthew has been blessed with two jobs at Sears and Pac Sun, Blong has been growing a ton as he has been preparing to send out the missions teams, John has been blessed with an amazing job working with mentally handicapped adults, we have been given tons of free stuff to make living more comfortable (couches, mattresses, dishes, utensils, food, etc.), and I have been blessed with an opportunity to work with abused and potentially assaultive teens in a group home setting as a counselor. I basically have the job, I just have to pass a few things, which I’m not to worried about, and then I start training. With all of these kinds of things happening, it is hard to look at our lives without noticing how God has had his hand over our lives the past 3 weeks. For instance, we found an apartment complex with one two-bedroom apartment open, and we applied for it and made a down payment and moved in, all within one week. That is INSANE!

I also had the chance to lead worship at The Well this week, playing worship music with a bunch of people I almost never play with. It is just amazing to me how God has made people so talented that we can gather together, some of us having never met, and glorify God together so creatively and passionately. It is hard to say that there is no God when we can come together like that and lead people in worship of their Creator with so little effort.

It was also great to hear the message from David Nishizaki today. I grew up looking up to David as he was a leader in our youth ministry, but not really knowing him. Now that he and I are both up in Redding, I have had the privilege to lead worship with him a few times. He did a great job of preaching today as he brought some new insight into the story of the Prodigal/Lost Son. He was basically saying that we have mis-named the character in the story that was really Prodigal. Prodigal means to be wreckless, extravagant, even wasteful. He did agree that the younger son was exactly that, but even more, the Father was more Prodigal than his son. He said that the Father’s actions seemed almost inappropriate because of the way his son had treated him. The son basically told the Father that he wished he were dead when he asked for his share of the inheritance, yet the Father gave it to him anyways. The Father then runs towards his son (when a rich or highly esteemed Jewish man was running, he was losing his dignity) awkwardly (he’s running in sandals and a robe) and throws himself upon his son and forgives him, and then lavishes gifts upon him and celebrates his return. This son did not deserve this and wished only to work as a servant. The Father even goes so far as to offer the same party to the older brother who is jealous and spites his younger brother’s return. David said that these actions seem inappropriate to him, and they do to me as well. What Father in their right mind would forgive their son of wishing death upon him, taking his money and spoiling it on evil things, by lavishing gifts upon him and celebrating his return? It seems totally inappropriate. However, the only reason why it seems inappropriate is because we have experienced imperfect love from imperfect examples of a father. To us, the Father’s actions seem inappropriate, but they are driven, in fact, by true love. It is only the perfect and true love that drives the Father to do these prodigal acts. Instead of spending his money, he spends himself and his dignity to love his sons.

Our Father in heaven is exactly like this. When we fall into sin and come back to him, he forgives us and lavishly pours out his love on us. He offers us gifts of love and of grace and of righteousness, even when we spit in his face. This is such a great love that is almost inexplainable and hard to understand. We can turn our backs on God a million times, and he will still be there, waiting for us to run back into his arms. It is hard to grapple with how much grace and forgiveness God has for us, or even why he loves us so much. The thing is, most of the time, we try to earn this love from him. Our reaction is like the lost son. We want to serve him and DO things to try to earn this love, but God doesn’t care about those things. He would love us even if we didn’t do those things. This is the grace that He has for us. That we can accept His free gift of love, and love Him back. We do not love in order to be loved, but because He has already loved us, and given His life for us. It is through this abiding in love that the life of Christ flows and fruit is abundant. Life is fully lived the way that it was supposed to: free from the power of sin and enslavement, and in the power of love and grace, glorifying God.

This is the life that I desire. I desire that the love that I have received from God would flow out of me and I would be able to see fruit. That I would walk in love and power. That I would walk not under the law, but under grace, free from the power of sin. That through me, many people would experience the life that Christ has called them to and that they would experience it abundantly. That I would be an example of Christ to all that I encounter. That Christ’s love would flow through me. Sometimes, this life seems so far off, but I know that God has me in His hands and that He is still shaping me and molding me into the man He wants me to be.

Isn’t it great to know that you are a beloved son/daughter of the King, and He has you and your whole world in His hands?

Taming the Terrible Tongue Part 1 of 4

Lately when I’ve been reading the Bible, some things have been jumping out at me about the way I am so quick to talk sometimes. This will be a short little series about taming the tongue walking through James 3:1-12 one step at a time, and then looking at parts of Ephesians 4 and 5. The first passage is James 3:1-2 which says, “Not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a stricter judgment; for we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is also able to control his whole body.”

This letter was written by the Apostle James to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion to encourage them and instruct them. I find it interesting that James starts instructing everyone about controlling their tongue by telling them that only few should become teachers and that they will receive a stricter judgment than everyone else, even though we all stumble in many ways. This is so crucial because when someone has the ability to teach, whatever they say, people will end up believing. The temptation for teachers is to teach things that they have made up or something contrary to Scripture and create their own following, as well as to slander others or speak badly of them.

James then writes about stumbling by using our tongue. He writes that if someone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who can control his whole body. I feel that inherently, if someone stumbles by using their tongue, then the whole body is un-able to be controlled, and thus, causes the whole body to stumble (we will see this idea again in the next blog).

I find it funny that God has given us a tongue to use in teaching, yet it is something that can be so evil and affect the ability to control our whole body. Therefore we must control our tongue in order to control our whole body. In James’ day, just about anyone could decide to become a teacher, thus, James warns them that only a few should teach because of the measuring stick that they will be judged by. Since teaching is such a crucial role in the church, those who teach must tame their tongue so that their whole body will be controlled in order to pass judgment.

With that, I know that I will some day (probably sooner than I think) be in a position where I am teaching often and will be teaching God’s truth to youth. With this position will come much responsibility in using Scripture and modeling a sanctified life to students that I will be shaping. I know that right now I often stumble in what I say and things that I joke about. This begins my quest in Taming the Terrible Tongue, of which I hope you can maybe glean something from for your own life.

Lord, I pray that as I move closer to what You have for me that I would take more seriously the responsibility You have placed upon me. I pray that by Your Spirit I would be able to control my tongue so that I do not stumble and fall short. I pray that as this happens, I would continue to grow closer to You and what You have for me. I love You so much and thank You for Your sacrifice for me. I pray this in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ, Amen.

My Constant Encouragers this Summer

"I just wanted to thank you one last time for all that you've done this summer for me. It's been awesome and you've done great... and I know that you'll be great wherever you are."

So as many of you know, I've been interning at my church at home this summer. It's been really awesome. I had some ups where I loved coming in every morning to my internship, and I had some downs where I did not want to be there, thought I wouldn't show it, and I wasn't sure if anyone could pick up on that fact. A couple of things throughout were constant encouragements to me.

The first thing, was a growing relationship with Christ. Before my internship, I would not say that I was in a daily devotion to the One that I wanted to serve with the rest of my life. On the first day of my internship, Dewbe challenged and encouraged me to start off with that; to make sure my day started off reading scripture and praying. I took it to heart, and it has never been more satisfying. God spoke to me many times through these times where I was meditating on His word and conversing with Him. God kept revealing Himself to me in many ways, and I had the chance to communicate some of these things to students a few times. These times encouraged me, gave me peace, refreshed me just when I needed it.

The second constant was the praise and encouragement I received from my friend and mentor, Dewbe. I don't think he realizes the impact the words he has spoken to me this summer has impacted me, and changed me. Constant words of encouragement and praises to others about me filled his speech, even to people I barely know. Dewbe probably doesn't know it, but each time he said something, it lifted me, it encouraged me, it blessed me. He constantly told me that he believes that I am going to be a great youth pastor, and that I am pretty much ready. I remember each one as if it had just came off of his lips so nonchallantly. These words were so impactful because I tend to get discouraged easily and believe lies that creep into my head that tell me I'm not meant to be a youth pastor. I experienced how much God loves me and how he made me exactly for this through Dewbe this summer. The confirmation in my mind has been overwhelming from him. Don't get me wrong, I know I will fail at some things, and succeed at others, but it is all part of the learning and growing process.

In conclusion, I've had two constant encouragers in my time here in Brentwood this summer, one who was doing his best to become more like the other. These constant encouragers were Christ, and Dewbe. I love both of them dearly. Because of them, I now know the importance of encouragement in the life of the believer.

Lord, I thank you for constantly lifting me up this summer and blessing me. I thank you so much for Dewbe and his constant encouragement. I pray that you continue to bless him and the ministry he partakes in here in Brentwood. I pray that you would continue to give him a heart to encourage others and see them succeed. I pray that you would continue to pour out your Spirit on Dewbe and his family so that they may continue to love You by loving others. Protect them and bless them. I pray these things in the name of your Son: Jesus Christ. Amen.

Livin' Out Our Faith Aint Easy

So guys, in the spirit of me writing big long sermons on here... this is my latest sermon that I preached this past sunday and wednesdays at youth groups. This is basically what I typed up, but I didn't follow it to the T... but had all the same basic concepts and everything. Lemme know what you think.

Livin’ By Faith A’int Easy: 1 Peter 4:12-19

These past few weeks, Dewbe has been talking to you guys about faith. The first week Dewbe spoke about putting our faith into action—paying it forward to somebody. Last week, he spoke a little bit about what real faith is. This week, I want to talk to you about how our faith can be hard to live. Lets bow our heads and pray. Pray. So when I was a little kid my older brothers and I used to play games. We frequently acted out Bible stories to impress our parents because they thought we were kinda stupid. My older brothers were pretty mischievous, and so whenever we played together, I had to live in faith that they would not hurt me. So do you guys remember the story when James and John are on a boat with Jesus and Jesus tells them to cast the fish nets on the other side and they will have a great catch? They end up doing it and they catch so much fish that they can barely pull in the nets? Well, my brothers and I acted that story out, except… I was not James or John, but a big fish. They way we would act this out is: my brothers would climb up onto the top bunk of their bed and throw a big blanket over the side pretending it was a fish net and that Jesus had just told them to throw it out. I, being the stellar actor that I am, would pretend to be a fish, and I would “swim” into the blanket, but really I would just climb into it. My brothers would then continue the scene by pulling me up on the bed. I always had a lot of fun doing this, though it was a little bit scary. My older brothers, who are twins I must add, got a little bored of this, and so they schemed against me, like all twins would do, to drop me when they almost had me to the top. They tried a few times, but I would be sitting in the blanket and I would kinda just catch myself. They really wanted to hurt me so they convinced me to lay down and close my eyes. I made them promise that they wouldn’t drop me, and when they did I believed them… I never should’ve. So anyways, I get in the blanket, lay down and close my eyes and they start to lift me up. I get almost to the top, and they “accidentally” let go of the blanket, and I drop about 7 feet flat on my back and I hit my head really hard. I think I lost a few brain cells that day, so if I ever seem kinda slow, that’s probably why. The point is, from that day on, I lived in fear that my brothers would hurt me when we played games because I had lived in faith that they wouldn’t. For some of us, living by our faith in God can seem scary. When we actually live out our faith, it should move us to action, to do something, to “pay it forward” to someone, like Dewbe talked to us about. We start living our lives like Jesus and we start loving people by serving them because Matthew 20:28 says, “the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve…” and this can be scary to us because we don’t know what other people will do to us when they see us doing this kind of stuff. We are too afraid to sit with the loser at lunch because people will make fun of us and our “cool” reputation will be lost. We are too afraid to pray for someone because we don’t want to be called a “Jesus Freak.” You see what I’m getting at? When our faith calls us to do something, it isn’t always easy to do.
A guy named Peter wrote 2 books in the New Testament. The first book he wrote—1 Peter, go figure—was written to a group of Christians who were being persecuted for their faith in Jesus Christ. In chapter 4 starting at verse 12, he writes:
12Dear friends, when the fiery ordeal arises among you to test you, don't be surprised by it, as if something unusual were happening to you. 13Instead, as you share in the sufferings of the Messiah rejoice, so that you may also rejoice with great joy at the revelation of His glory. 14If you are ridiculed for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15None of you, however, should suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a meddler. 16But if [anyone suffers] as a Christian, he should not be ashamed, but should glorify God with that name. 17For the time has come for judgment to begin with God's household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who disobey the gospel of God? 18And if the righteous is saved with difficulty, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner? 19So those who suffer according to God's will should, in doing good, entrust themselves to a faithful Creator.

These Christians that Peter is writing to were discouraged and ashamed to live their faith because of the persecutions, floggings, and insults that were coming their way because they believed in Jesus Christ. Now, I know we don’t face death like some of these people did, but I have lived through Jr. High and High School and I know how mean and hurtful people can be with their words and actions. This can be very discouraging to us if we are trying to live out our faith, and we ask God why it is happening.

There are a few things that I want to point out to you tonight. The first is that living out our faith isn’t easy because we are afraid to suffer. Just like the Christians that Peter wrote to, we are afraid to live out our faith because of the things that might happen to us. The Christians that Peter wrote to faced death, torture, insults, and other forms of persecution. We don’t face anything nearly as intense as what they did, guys. We, however, are too afraid of what our friends and others will do to us. Our pride and reputation as being cool or popular is too important to us, to humble ourselves and live our life for God and love people, study our Bibles, and even pray because they aren’t the popular or cool thing to do. We are too afraid to suffer.
The funny thing is, when we live out our faith, we will suffer! I’m not saying this to scare you guys or anything, but Peter points that out in this passage. And this is the second thing that I want to point out: that suffering should be expected. Verses 12 and 13 say, “Dear friends, when the fiery ordeal arises among you to test you, don't be surprised by it, as if something unusual were happening to you. Instead, as you share in the sufferings of the Messiah rejoice, so that you may also rejoice with great joy at the revelation of His glory.” Peter is pointing out that when we experience “fiery ordeals” we should not act as if they were never supposed to happen—we should expect them. You may be thinking… Okay James, I’m getting most of what you are saying, but what are the fiery ordeals that this passage is talking about? Well, you need only look to the next verse where it says that as we “share in the sufferings of the Messiah” we are to rejoice. If you didn’t know, Christ suffered a lot. Before he was nailed to the cross, he was stripped and beaten; mocked and spit upon; insulted and ridiculed. These are the things that we are joining into with Christ when we come to believe in Him. Isn’t that kinda scary? We should expect that we might go through these things to have our faith tested? And we are supposed to rejoice when they happen?!?! That seems kinda crazy if you asked me! This leads me to the last thing I want to point out!
When we suffer for our faith in Christ, we are blessed! This seems crazy too!!! How can we be blessed when people are hurling insults at us, humiliating us, and degrading us to the bottom of the food chain at school? The next verse says, “If you are ridiculed for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.” Be encouraged guys!!! I wish someone would have told me this sooner, or I would have taken my faith seriously sooner and had come upon this verse earlier in my faith! For so long, guys, I wondered if the Spirit of God was in me because I didn’t do anything and I didn’t love other people; I was afraid to live out my faith because I didn’t want to get made fun of or be labeled as a stuck up, judgmental Christian. Guys, don’t be afraid to live your faith out at school in front of your peers! Be bold and know that even if you are insulted, ridiculed, mocked, or looked down upon because of your faith in Jesus Christ, that the Spirit of God is inside of you and people recognize it in you. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power and love…” You guys have the power inside of you to do great things for God through your faith because the Spirit of God is inside of you if you believe in Him and aren’t afraid to live your faith and love people.
I want to tell you guys a story of a girl who was not afraid to live her faith and believe in God, even at the threat of death. Some of you may have heard about this girl before. About 10 years ago, in 1999, two teenage male students walked into Columbine High School’s library with semi-automatic weapons and opened fire on students, killing 12 and injuring many others, before they shot and killed themselves. Before they had killed themselves, they found one girl, Cassie Bernall underneath a table. One of the gunmen pointed a gun at her head and asked her a question. He asked Cassie, “Do you believe in God?” Her answer was, “Yes.” Before she could say anything else, the gunman immediately shot her and killed her. You see, it took Cassie a lot of faith to answer yes to that question in the face of death. Out of fear for her life, she could have answered “No,” and possibly lived. Instead, with the power she had through the Spirit of God, she answered “Yes,” because she understood that she was blessed in that moment, and that she was going to go to heaven to be with God himself if she was killed.

You guys, I’m not trying to scare you guys with all of this. I want you guys to realize what God has given you in the Holy Spirit. I want you guys to realize that you do not have to be afraid of being insulted or mocked or ridiculed because you choose to love people and serve them. Livin’ out our faith aint easy guys. I’ll be honest with you right there. It aint easy. That doesn’t mean we have to live in fear. You see, we are God’s children. We belong to Him. He wants us to live out our faith in power. We are blessed when get insulted, mocked, or ridiculed because we are living our faith in power. Don’t be afraid guys.
So what does this mean for you guys???
Maybe you love God, yet faith seems easy for you to live. You read your Bible every morning and pray, yet at school you do nothing to show the love that God has for people. Or maybe you just hang out with your other Christian friends, and so living your faith in these ways seems easy. I want you to encourage you guys to step out in your faith and love someone that doesn’t know God. But realize this, you may get discouraged by your peers around you who don’t know God and don’t understand what you’re doing. Don’t be afraid of that happening. Know that it might happen. But be encouraged when it does happen that you are blessed and God’s Spirit lives inside of you. Maybe you’ve stepped out and “paid it forward” to someone and you didn’t suffer anything for it. That’s cool, but don’t stop there. Keep stepping out, and don’t be surprised when the mockery and insults come. Know that you are blessed because the Spirit of God is inside of you. Maybe you have tried to live out your faith, and you did get mocked or insulted because of it. Don’t let that stop you from continuing to live your faith out. Know that it was supposed to happen. Know that you are blessed. Know that the Spirit of God lives inside of you and gives you the power to continue to love God by loving other people. You guys, the last verse in this passage says, “So those who suffer according to God's will should entrust themselves to a faithful Creator and continue to do good.” Entrust yourselves to God and know that He has everything in control, and continue to love people in the face of hardship. Let’s pray!

Seeing Things Clearly

So something that I've been thinking about recently is worship. For my internship, I had to evaluate the youth ministry and figure out which areas needed to be rennovated and changed. Something I thought could be improved upon was worship during youth nights. It has been kinda shoved to the side and had not been given a chance to develop in the past three to four years. Watching from the sidelines a few times, I've noticed that almost nobody worships. Haing lead about four years ago, almost nobody worshipped. Nothing has seemed to change. The worship time has become a few people worshiping in song, and 30 people watching. It has become a watching type of thing, instead of a doing type of thing. So my job and goal over the next few weeks before I leave is to try and develop an environment and culture of worship.

This goal has led me to desire to do some sort of sermon series on worship at youth group. So one of the passages that sticks in my head all the time is Romans 12:1-2 because it talks about worship. Among all the passages in the Old Testament that talk about worship as sacrificing animals and stuff, this passages sticks out to me more than the rest. So I did some thinking about it.

"Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."
-Romans 12:1-2 [HCSB]

I've heard this passage many times before, but never took the time to consider its meaning for me. It says that our spiritual act of worship is offering our bodies as living, breathing, sacrifices to God, which is holy and pleasing to Him. It also says to not be conformed to the age (or the world) and to be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can know the will of God. But what does it all mean, and what does it mean for you and I?

What does it mean?

It means that worship is sacrificing ourselves. We all, by nature, desire things of the flesh. We desire our addictions, sex, money, power, and many other things... the things of this age... the things of the world. When we desire these things, we do not desire the things of the Spirit or things that are of God. Thus, it is important that we offer up our fleshly desires to make room for God to transform us by replacing our fleshly desires with desires that are of the Spirit, and this is the renewing of our mind. This renewal needs to be constant. This renewal transforms our minds and hearts to that of Gods. This act is holy and pleasing to God.

What does it mean for you and I?

There are soo many things in this world that can consume us if we do not constantly sacrifice those things of the flesh to God. In our flesh, we desire the things of the world and not the things of God. The cool thing is, by the power of God, we can offer those desires to God and our minds will be renewed or refocused and transformed so that we can continue to see God's will for us. God's will is made clearer when we do this. We are made holy and pleasing to God when we do this because we are constantly becoming more like our Creator. This is an act of worship, which is to be continually done so that we can continue to see God's will for us.

When we sacrifice ourselves, our spiritual blinders start to come off so that we can see God's will. It continues to get evermore clear as we continue to sacrifice these desires, and let God renew our minds and transform us to be more like Him. It is like a man with very poor vision who needs prescription glasses or contacts to see well. When he gets a prescription, he puts his glasses on and can see clearly. But, eventually, if the prescription is not renewed, it is to weak and he has to get a new prescription so that he can see more clearly. This must be continually done for the rest of life. In the same way, when we fall into our fleshly desires it causes God's will for us to be blurred because we are not focused on God. If we do not continually sacrifice our fleshly desires and renew or refocus our mind and life on God, His will for us will continually be blurred, and not refined. When we do continually renew our mind by sacrificng our flesh, God's will for us continues to be more clear day by day.

I will be the first to say that I am not continually renewing my mind and sacrificing my flesh to make room for God. I now desire that. I want to get rid of all the junk I've wanted to for a while so that I can continue to focus on God and His will for me. I don't want to run away from these things anymore. I want to see clearly the will of God.

I think that in context of trying to create an environment and culture of worship, this plays out in a specific way. When we are in our flesh, we will not desire to worship God, because the world does not tell us to worship God, but other things. To create that environment and culture of worship, we must be transformed by renewing our minds and sacrificing our flesh so that we desire things of God. When we desire things of God because we have sacrificed our fleshly desires as worship, that is when that environment and culture of worship will be developed.

Worship requires an element of sacrifice. Worship through song in my mind is simply singing praises back to God about how great He is. It may not seem like a sacrifice, but it still requires us to sacrifice our fleshly desire to be our own God. We sacrifice this want and we are letting Him become our God. Worship is not something we watch other people do and is not solely done through music and singing. It can be done in our day to day lives, not just on Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights.

Worship must be done continuously.

Worship requires sacrifice.

Worship causes us to see God's will more clearly.

Worship causes us to desire Him.

So, will we constantly sacrifice our fleshly desires and humbly be transformed so that we can know God's will and be used by Him for His Kingdom? Or will we sit back and watch as others seek the things of God and become tools for His Kingdom?

Lord God,
I pray that as I embark on my journey to create an environment and culture of worship, that you would be with me. I pray that you would do a mighty work in the lives of the students and call them to sacrifice themselves in worship. I pray that their lives would change from desiring their flesh, to desiring you and your will for their lives. I pray that worship would not continue to be a spectator's sport in the youth, but something that they would desire to DO and not just watch. I pray that you would reveal yourself to the students in powerful ways as we seek to worship you and become more like you. I love you so much God and thank you for all that you have blessed me with. I pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ.
Amen

A Drive Through the Desert and a Nonchalant Encouragement from a Mentor

So this past Monday, a buddy of mine named Cody and I, flew out to Las Vegas, NV to pick up a free car! It was a huge blessing and answer to prayer that I got a free car. My youth pastor friend's wife's grandpa died a few weeks ago and he had like 4 cars. His family was going to give it away in Las Vegas, so when Dewbe found out, he called his father-in-law to inform him that I needed a car and would probably want it. So they gave me the go, all I had to do was get to Vegas to pick it up and I could have it.

So I flew with my buddy to Vegas. His sister picked us up at the airport and took us to lunch, and then we went to pick the car up. After picking it up, Cody and I took off on our long adventure. What should have been an 8.5 hour trip turned into a 13.5 hour trip.

Let me explain.

About 30 miles into out trip we stopped for some gas because we had to go through some mountains and we didn't want to get stuck. When we were about to leave, I thought to myself, I'm thirsty, I should get some water while looking at the thermometer in the car reading 111. I then thought to myself, nahhh I'll be fine. I'll just get something on the other side.

Little did I know that 10 miles later my car would overheat.

Cody and I then sat in the sun in the middle of the desert with no water or food for about 3.5 to 4 hours. It was soo hot! SOOO HOTTT! It was a good time that we had though. Suffering together... talking about life. I love Cody. He has been so welcoming to me here in my hometown, after not really knowing me before I came home for my internship.

Finally, his sister brought us some water to put in the coolant system, and we went on our way. 8 hours later or so, at about 5am, we arrived at our destination.

Now, I want to talk about something that happened today. I was riding in the car with Brandon and Dewbe, and Dewbe said something to me that is shaking my view of myself right now. I struggle sometimes with believing lies that I am not fit for youth ministry. Today, Dewbe said something so nonchalantly, but it is shaking that lie and putting it to death.

"You are doing a really good job James."
"A good job at what?"
"At your internship stuff. You know, I was even talking to Mary the other day and I was saying that you are probably better than 90% of the youth ministry guys I know..."
"Thanks Dewbe."

And a minute later the subject changed. I don't remember what to, but the words that Dewbe spoke to me keep ringing in my head. It was really hard for me to believe, but I think he genuinely believed his statement about me.

It was so encouraging and I do not think he realizes how much the such nonchalant little piece of encouragement meant to me. It is so encouraging to me when other people can see me living out the calling that God has placed in my life, when I can't see it or believe it sometimes. It shakes me when people I look up to say simple things like that.

The thing is, I do not know if I can live my calling out to its full potential, until I fully believe in it. Until I see myself as a youth pastor leading kids towards God, I can't do it the way God needs me to or wants me to. I think God is in the process of growing me to be big enough for the dream he has given me.

So that's what has gone on in my life this past week. I love all of you who read blogs.

Dear Lord,
Thank You soo much for speaking me today through someone's nonchalant statement. Thank You for encouraging me on my journey towards my life of service to you. Keep bringing me closer to you. Give me enough faith to get out of the boat. Sanctify me. Call me to you. Wake me up. Shake me. Let me hear your voice. I love You so much.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.

My Oblivious Influence

I have always believed that I have had a great influence on kid's lives, but I have been oblivious as to how great that influence is until this week. It has been a humbling and eye opening realization.

This week is my church's yearly Summer Vacation Bible School called Buddy Bears! I grew up since I was about 4 or 5 going to Buddy Bears, and then I've been helping out at Buddy Bears ever since I was too old to go. It has been this week at Buddy Bears that has been one of the most influential times in my life.

My first epiphany of the magnitude of influence I have over kids came on Tuesday when I talked to a kid in my group's mother when I confessed my adoration for her son. The previous day I had flexed my muscle for him and told him that if he started lifting heavy things his muscles would slowly grow to the size of mine, and maybe even bigger. The mother told me that day that she heard some clanking in another room the night before and went in there and the little boy was lifting the fire place tools. When she asked him what he was doing he said, "James said..." (wow) "that if I lift heavy things my muscles will get bigger!" I know, I know... really cute huh??? But I now realize that kids listen to every word that I say and they believe it. The ten words that I said to him in that one moment dictated his life for that night, and he has told me about lifting more things the past two days.

More epiphanies have come as the week has progressed. From the little boy named Deven coming up to my every day before lunch and asking if I would sit with him, to the hand-full of students who beg me to sit next to them every time we go somewhere and then get jealous of eachother if I sit somewhere else, to Austin copying my British accent and telling me I am the coolest guy he has ever met, many things have awoken me from my obliviousness.

I am humbled to know that I have such an influence on kids, and that God has chosen me to have that influence, so that I can influence them towards Him. I am reminded of Mark 9:41 where it says, "If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck." This verse reminds me that much responsibility has been givn to me, and thus, much is expected of me. I must be aware at all times who I am influencing and what I am influencing them towards. My goal is not to lead students away from Christ, but towards Him. It is soo cool that I get to invest in these kids and point them towards God.

My encouragement to the blogging world is that we do have influence over kids, whether we realize it or not.

Be aware of the influence you have over other people so that you can take seriously the call to glorify God with every breath of every day, so that no one will be mistaken about who you are influencing them towards.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank You for giving me the opportunity to be here this summer and this week at Buddy Bears. Thank You for making me aware of the influence I have over kids. Lord, my goal is to influence kids towards You and the love that You have for them. Help me to glorify you with every breath that I take so that I might influence kids towards You in the best way possible. I want to take seriously the call You have placed on my life and the heart You have given me. I love You sooo much. I thank You and praise You!
In the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son: Amen.

Wow I haven't blogged in like a month!!!!

I guess I've just been really distracted with a lot of really important things. It is my duty to update you on the world of James, the life that sits in the wildhorse canyon... :)

So lets start with the first few days of summer. I got home and rested for the weekend, then started our move to a different house. A much smaller house. I had some friends come help my family out... Ryan, Bryan and Matt all helped us out, but at different times. They were such a blessing. This is what I did for my first 2-3 days of my summer vacation and week rest before starting my internship. I only did it the first 2-3 days because I got sick. I came down with some sort of infection, and the doctor told me I had to be in lock-down and I couldn't be around people, because I was more susceptible to getting the flu since my immune system was being affected by the infection. So many days were Jeff and Dan here that I really wanted to hang out, but I couldn't... I was very dissapointed and kinda lonely.

Eventually I got over my sickness and the next Tuesday morning I met my youth pastor, Dewbe, for some starbucks before our staff meeting. We met so he could get an update and figure out where I was spiritually, and to tell you the truth, I wasn't where I wanted to be. For the longest time I had been down on myself for not doing my own personal devotions every day. I recognized the need to constantly be filled with God's Spirit, yet I did nothing to do that. I didn't pray every day. I didn't read my Bible. I felt like I wasn't taking my calling seriously. I knew I needed to be in a different place. Dewbe told me something that really stood out. First he told me that the shame and disgust that I felt was not coming from God... and I knew that... but he then told me that it was good that I desired to be in that place because the kids that I minister to will only be as spiritual as I am... or something to the effect. I desire nothing more than to love God and develop my personal relationship with Him, and that love for God will overflow into love for other people, and the love for other people I have will affect other people to the point where they develop a love for God. It seems like an infectious idea to me.

So he challenged me to start doing daily devotions, to pray, to read my Bible, and to listen for God's voice. I tell you, life is much different now. I love it.

I then started my internship. It has been a blast so far. Soon after I started we took our seniors on a trip to lake shasta. It was meant to be a fun trip, but we had a spiritual focus on it. We did this because statistics show that like 80% of Christian highschool graduates after leaving for college abandon their faith. The number is shockingly high and breaks my heart. So our focus was on trying to give them tools to make their faith their own so that when they do leave for college in a few months, they will hopefully be built up and won't abandon their faith. We all had a blast during the weekend though through tubing, wakeboarding, kneeboarding, swimming and worshipping. It was an awesome weekend that I won't forget.

I also have had the chance to preach a few times so far. For the first month we followed a curriculum until we got into the student's summer. Now it's up to us and the Holy Spirit for our sermons, which I like a lot more.

We have had two awesome youth nights so far for the student's summers. The first one was a water games night. It ended up just being a big waterballoon fight. It was really fun! Then this past wednesday we had a food fight night. Dewbe, my youthpastor, was gone this week because he's up in Redding taking some masters classes through Tozer Seminary at Simpson, so I pretty much played Youthpastor that night. I got youthgroup going, led worship, preached, and ran some games. My buddy Jon ran a egg in a pipe game where there is two people on the ends of a clear plastic pipe with a couple eggs in it... they blow and someone ends up eventually with egg in their face. We then did bobbing for apples in cereal and milk... that was really funny and I'm surprised the kids had as much fun as they did. I then ran Blend-or-Dare which was really nasty and kinda anti-climactic, but was still fun. We then had our big food-fight game called presidents. Basically, two teams, each with a president. You have to protect your president, as well as get the other president dirty, whichever president is the cleanest at the end of the game wins. The boys totally whomped on the girls. It was a little unfair, I have to admit. For that game, Jon and I had prepared about 20 pounds of flower by adding water to make a bunch of goop. That stuff was really fun to throw at people. Then began the long process of cleaning it all up. haha... it didn't take as long as I thought it would.

And a quick change of topic. Lately I have been thinking about how complacency ruins us. When we think we don't need anything else, we stop living... we basically die. A. W. Tozer once wrote that complacency was the deadly enemy to all spiritual growth, and I completely agree because not only does it stop growth, it takes us backwards. This is what I spoke on this last week at youth group. I used an example of how my complacency with a female friend I had ruined my chances of dating her and then ruined our relationship because we don't even speak anymore. I then talked about Revelation 3:14-19... the verse that talks about the church in Laodicea being like lukewarm water and Jesus wanting to vomit them out of His mouth.

Little did I know, but in that verse Jesus actually is comparing the church to Laodicea's water supply. Because the church was complacent in trying to be self-sufficient their poor water supply was not useful unless heated for bathing or cooled for drinking. Thus he was saying that their complacency had made them un-useful. Their un-useful-ness had caused them to fall into sin and they didn't look any different from the surrounding world. They focused on things of the world and they thought they were rich by the world's standards... so Jesus urged them to buy His gold refined in the fire so that they could become rich. They looked like the rest of the world by sinning and not repenting, so Jesus urges them to buy white clothes from Him so that their shameful nakedness wouldn't be exposed... because everyone in Laodicea wore black clothes... thus, you could tell the difference from God's people and those of the world. They were spiritually blind to the fact that they needed God, so Jesus urged them to buy ointment from Him to spread on their eyes so that they could see. And Jesus made this offensive comment and rebuke to the Church in Laodicea out of love. He loved them so much that he did not want them to be complacent like the rest of the world, so he called them to obedience and repentance. I think it is so cool how every detail was put in the Bible for a purpose.

I then concluded with how frequently in scripture we are urged to press on towards the prize, to add to our faith, to run the race! I then gave the example that when I started running a mile to get in shape and I became complacent with how fast I ran it, I stopped running. A couple weeks later I decided to run another mile and I couldn't... because I didn't press on. I became complacent and stopped running, and then went backwards in my ability.

I share all of my sermon with you, not to just tell you what I spoke about. I share it with you to encourage you. Whether you might be complacent or you always seek more with God... I want this to encourage you. If you find yourself in the middle of complacency, I urge you to seek more from God. Develop your relationship with Him so that he may call you and use you for his purposes. If you continually press on towards the goal to win the prize, as Paul would say, I encourage you to never become complacent, because when you do, you stop running... and when you stop running, you slow down to a jog, and then to a walk, and then to a hobble, and then to a crawl... and eventually you die and fall away. When you think there is nothing else you need, you stop living... and when people aren't living... they are inherently dead.

"Complacency is the deadly enemy of spiritual progress."
-A. W. Tozer

Lord,
I pray for the rest of my life that I would never become complacent in anything. That I would always seek more of You in my life. I pray for the people who read my blog that they would not become complacent in anything and that they would continually desire to grow in their loving relationship with You and that You would use them for your purposes. Lord, I speak against complacency and want to encourage all towards growth in you. Lord bless the rest of our summer and keep my friends across seas in your will this summer. Protect them and bless them as they seek to advance your Kingdom. I pray that they would be obedient to the things that You call them to do as they interact with the people of the countries they are in. Lord I pray that You would continue to speak to all of us and then we would wait upon You and listen for Your voice. Guide us as we grow in You.
In the name of Jesus Christ I pray,
Amen.

Broken Hearted

Broken Hearted
Lyrics and Music written by James Spencer April 26, 2009

Verse:
You break my heart into a thousand tiny pieces
over a thousand dying people
over the poor and oppressed, the starving and the thirsty,
the naked and the poor, the widow and the orphan…

Chorus:
And how can I let them live like that,
and not do anything, to help them myself? (x2)

Bridge:
I want a heart like yours, of love and compassion,
to do the things you did, to serve You and Your Kingdom. (x2)
So give me your heart, give me your heart, give me your heart, yeah.

A God Thing

So Good Friday was encouraging. God continues to amaze me with the things he has up his sleeves.

During Spring Break I attended the Jr. High Youth Group. I helped lead worship at it with a few friends and it was all peaches and creme until we finished the second to last song and I suddenly heard someone yell "SHUT UP!!!" It shocked me to hear a sixth or seventh grader shout something like that in the middle of worship, whether they are focusing on God like they are supposed to or not. This discouraged me very greatly because I am supposed to be interning there this summer, and seemingly nothing had changed since I had left and gone to college. I immediately got discouraged and afraid about what my internship was going to be like during the summer.

Later, at the end of the week on Sunday, I was at church. Brandon had just finished sharing about how he felt God was going to use the church for great things. We then started to sing "God of this City," by Chris Tomlin. That song is soo powerful. I immediately felt connected to God's heart and so I stood up and lifted my hands while I sang my heart out and proclaimed "Greater things are yet to come! Greater things are yet to come! Greater things are still to be done in this city!"

God spoke to me in those moments and encouraged me about the summer. He told me not to worry about the summer because he was going to do something great in and through me. It was so encouraging and so comforting. I sit and think about what God could do this summer, and I get really excited.

That was amazing.

Then I go home this weekend for Easter. My parents came up to Redding on Thursday to pick Bryan, Dan, and I up. Before we even left Redding my parents told me that we were moving right at the beginning of May (like right after I get out of school). Instead of living in our 4 bedroom, 2 bath, atleast 1,600 sq. ft. house, we will be living in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, 600 sq. ft. shack behind our good friends' house. This is not exciting to me at all, and I also have to live in our camper trailer the whole summer. But I keep getting reminded of what God wants to do this summer. I am also encouraged by the fact that my parents are talking about how they are getting ready and are waiting for what God wants them to do. I really have no idea what they are going to do, but I am so joyful that they are trying to find God's heart for them.

Back to the story, I go to the Good Friday service at my church. I get to talking really quickly with my Youth Pastor Dewbe, whom I will be interning with during the summer, and he tells me that he and Dave (the head pastor) want me to be at the church full time and that he is working on getting people in the church to sponsor me so that hopefully I can get paid $1,000 per month. That is way more than I imagined I would get paid. God is definitely taking care of me and setting things up for the summer, and I feel so blessed.

Lord,
THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE DOING!!! I pray that You continue to work on my heart for this summer and for the hearts of people in Brentwood. I pray for opportunities and divinely constructed events for me and others in the church to share your love with people. Lord thank you for taking care of me and setting things up for the summer. I can't help but get excited when I think about what you could possibly have up your sleeve for this summer. I love you very much!
Amen.

Your Willing Servant, James.

Post-Spring Break

So I know it is long overdue, but here is my Post-Spring Break Blog.

Spring Break finished and it was awesome. Though I spent waaaay more money than I would have liked, it was great to hang out with some people from home that I had not hung out with in a while, and it would not have been the same had I not gone out to eat, gone to the beach, and gone out to eat again. It was soo great to experience friendships outside of Simpson and at Church. It was encouraging. The last night of Spring Break everybody came over to my house. The plan was to eat tacos and then watch Jurassic Park. Only a few people came over to eat tacos... and we never really watched Jurassic Park. Instead, we ended up going out to the pier out behind my house really late at night and hanging out there. There were soo many people too, and it was amazing.

Then Sunday came and it was time to go back to school. Matt and I weren't supposed to leave until late because we were picking up Sarah at the Sac Airport at like 11. Her flight from Pennsylvania ended up getting pushed later and later, and she ended up missing classes monday. So matt and I left around 8 or 9 I think.

We then had a week of school. That week of school was not hard. We had our Spring Formal. It was soo much fun. I attended with a large group of friends. Me, Jeff, Eric, Hannah, Aubrey, Danae, Eleanor, Stephanie, Natalie, Hillary, and Caleb. We all had soo much fun. I'm so glad I went. There was a part where they taught us how to swing dance, and that was pretty cool and not too hard. I ended up dancing a lot with Aubrey during the swing dancing thing, and she did well. I also must express that all of the girls looked very beatiful! Honestly. They were amazing! AAAND... It's soo fun to get dressed up.

Then came this past week. All day Sunday I was in the library writing a 7 page, 7500 word paper on the conflicts in cross-cultural terms in the movie Fools Rush In. The rest of the week was a sinch, and now I'm at home for Easter weekend. It's kinda nice because we have four days (FRI-MON).

In other news, I'm really excited about this summer and next school year. This summer I am set to do an internship with my Youth Pastor, Dewbe Wright. He's really awesome and I have been getting this feeling, from God presumably, that He is going to be doing some great things this summer in the East Bay, which is probably why I am soo excited. I'm not the only who has been getting this feeling. I am also stoked about next year as an RA, and it being my senior year and all, but I am soo pleased at most, if not all, of the people that Residence Life has hired as leaders for next year. I really wish my friend Jeff had been chosen because he is really great; I hope he applies again next year.

Lord,
I thank You for who You are. I am soo excited about this upcoming summer and next year. As I serve You, I pray that You would teach me what it means to serve You, as well as continue to develop me and my character into the man, and future youth pastor, that You want me to be. Lord I pray that You would bless us all with Your love this summer and that You would continue to be magnificent in our lives. I ask that You would continue to reveal Yourself to us.
Amen.